i went to pittsburgh to buy a desk.
i came back with a new coach bag and matching wallet.
i have a problem.

abstract, sky wheel in niagara falls, ontario

neglect of the blog.

so i've been neglecting the blog. first of all, i'm still trying to wrap my brain around my friend's recent diagnosis of leukemia. a lot of research comes with something of this nature. research. phone calls. soul searching. the quest for ways to help. to make life a little easier and to find creative ways to be strong and supportive. i choose to make inappropriate jokes about the terrible "granny panties" hospital issued unders and encouragement to hunt for hot doctors. every little bit helps.

so here are a few things you've missed since i've been gone:

• the state of pennsylvania is shit. i got nailed at 96 mph on the PA turnpike. so note to self, while the turbo with paddle shifters is rad and all, crying to the state police is uber important. they are inclined to drop a 30+ mph fine and possible court appearance to some odd regulation of excess speed on a turnpike charge. $108 check, my hotel envelope, and a few canadian stamps... and i'm all set. i haven't had a ticket in years, so i figure if i have to pay a tax every so often to push 100+ on the highway, i'm totally ok with it.
• if i say the word right? after another sentence, i'm officially losing my american citizenship. i do love some canadian things... like poutine, all of their british inspired chocolate, and the fact that the milk still comes in bags. and maybe the metric system. it just seems more impressive, right?
• sirius radio = boo. i can't find a decent channel, and honestly i'd rather listen to the navigation lady yell at me. the radio is bad. boooooooooooooooo. oh, except for neil diamond radio, channel 4. i'd listen to that all day, any day.
• i had a great time at the falls last week before heading farther north. my colleague and i had a great time, comped in a beautiful suite at the crowne (love using my hotel reps... it's when being in events really pays off, right?) and spent hours exploring the hill and falls. i was also able to visit with an old friend of mine from years ago. it was delightful.
• i have realized i might be in deep shizzz at customs upon reentry to the states in a few weeks. see, the thing is that i drove into the friendly northern neighbor. i drove a fleet car that i will be leaving behind for transport back to v-dub HQ and catching a flight home. now, up until a few days ago i thought the plan was rad. i had a lovely trip through canada, was able to take a 20 hour vacation, catch up with old friends, and stay in a beautiful property with a fallsview. then my colleague reminds me that we have to go through customs as we exit through customs. so my passport doesn't have a stamp entering the country. let's just try to proved better facts other than i had a car that i didn't own, in it i had things that i've since left behind, i left it for people i don't know, and now i'm trying to reenter my country of citizenship. awesome. so my point is that if you get a strange call in the middle of the night, ANSWER. it might be my opportunity to phone a friend sitting in a holding cell at customs. the plus side is that at least i have canadian legal representation.
• grape big league chew is the most amazing shizz ever made. it's still as good, if not better, than what you remember. today is only a week in canada for me and i'm already out. hmmmm... aero bars just won't do when i need the chew, right?
• don't eat meat in other countries. 'enough said.

so i'm here for another week and a half. i hope to send off some postcards when i get a change. god knows i have enough canadian stamps left from my ticket send off. i won't be posting again for a bit, other than a possible picture or two since my event kicks off friday. in the meantime, i have internet access about 45% of the time but my blackberry is still kicking.

i got a call yesterday from one of my oldest and dearest friends. this person recently found out that they are battling leukemia.

i'm not going to go on about how scared i am or my fears, because i know this person reads this blog. so instead i'm going to say that while i'm shaken to the core, i know they will kick cancer's ass. i've never known a more beautiful, strong, determined person in my life. out of anyone i know, i would want them on my side through anything life throws at me.

so to you, love, i'm here for you. and will call you everyday to make sure you're okay, no matter where i am in this country. i love you, as many of us do, and will be by your side through this fight, waiting at the finish line to celebrate when you kick cancer in the nuts. my thoughts and prayers are with you every moment and you have an entire team supporting you. and as an aside, you're totally in a good place to check out some hot doctors ;)

UPDATED: i've decided to turn on comments for this post. i know this person reads this blog and i figure that any encouragement visitors of this blog may have for them will be well-received. i only ask that you protect their privacy in your comments. most of our good friends have now been informed, but i would still prefer not to disclose their identity. so please, feel free to leave well wishes, while respecting their right to remain unknown.

also, what some of you may not know is that tomorrow this person is shaving their head for charity. i admire their desire to be so generous while being brave and proactive as they begin an aggressive course of treatment. it's a glaring reminder of what a beautiful person they have always been and continue to be. please keep them in your thoughts and prayers as tomorrow will be a rather difficult day.

and to you, love, i admire and respect you more than you could possibly know. your courage never ceases to amaze me, especially in times of hardship. we are all thinking of you- and i meant what i said about being hot without hair and learning to have a new love of accessories. you are in my thoughts and i'm wishing you strength and positive vibes tomorrow and forever. i love you.

updated

things i loved about my weekend:

• shopping at sephora. see? money CAN buy happiness. and it comes in a nice black bag wrapped in tissue paper.
• spending some time with mom. i realized that i was going to miss mothers day this weekend since i'm leaving for our next event on thursday. so i packed a bag and headed east to my parents. i was able to rub some serious cooper belly and spend a lot of time with mom. it was lovely.
• i ran into the family of shirl, the dear friend of mine i lost to cancer last summer. it was so amazing to hear about the fam and how they're all doing so well. i also spent my sat with a friend i see very little of due to scheduling conflicts. it was the best saturday i could've asked for and enjoyed every second of it.
• trader joes and 2-buck chuck. come over and join me for a glass of red or white, i of course had to get both, since i rarely make my way to trader joes in the first place.

what i'm looking forward to:

• getting our convoy through customs. i've been working on it all week and have been up to my eyelashes in inventory. not fun, but oh-so-necessary.
• heading out to canada two days early to kick around and see some old friends. i am also excited to see the falls at night. there have been few places in the world that have left me breathless. the coliseum in rome and the luminaries at antietam are two. but niagara falls is definitely on that list, and it's been a few years since i've been graced by it's beauty. plus my colleague hasn't been since she was a child, so it'll be nice to show her around to some of my favorite places to visit.

miscellany:

• i sometimes wonder why i bother unpacking my suitcase at all. i should simply do my laundry and put it right back in. at least i know i'm prepared for 2 weeks+ of travel on the road.
• having a fleet car to kick around in for a week is rad. especially when said car has lots of storage and paddle shifters. fun, fast, and the ability to hold all of my shit? rad.
• i'm buying all new office suite furniture for my second bedroom. i just can't find ones i like. a coworker suggested world market. any other suggestions for rad office furniture? and by rad, i certainly don't mean cheap ikea shit, either. i hope to finish with that room in june.
• i ordered my mother and her work friends a really rad edible arrangement this week for mothers day. my mom and i are going to celebrate it sometime during my 5 week hiatus from travel in june. i wanted to send over something nice, though, in the meantime... and who doesn't just love fruit cut up in the most adorable flower shapes?!?!
• leaving in 2 days and little time to clean my fridge, organize my office, and get out of town. such is the life of event planning on an international tour. i'm really looking forward to my 5 weeks at home before all hell breaks loose and i hit the road even harder through november. but it all pays off the end... i'm on a really exciting path. and while i still can't make that announcement just yet, i will keep it on my list of things to celebrate sometime soon!

home.

14 hours, 5 states, 2 speeding tickets.

and i'm home.

i dropped my colleagues off in pittsburgh last night around 2 am and made the rest of my trip to cleveland solo. arriving at 4 am this morning, i slept for a few hours and went into the office. i will be heading back out on thursday evening of next week. i may possibly also be flying to toronto for monday and tuesday, too, but am unconfirmed. we chose to drove, giving me a fleet car to play with for the week and the opportunity to spend an extra 2 days in toronto. i will leave the car there after our race at the end of the month and fly home on the 23rd.

so i have the next few days at home to do a little catch up, banking, visiting, laundry, and rest until i'm off for another 2 weeks. i also have big news on a new promotion i am involved with currently, you know, in my free time. there's a huge announcement brewing in germany for our company and i can only say i'm looking forward to new adventures.

and for the record, though i figured out the paddle shifters and pushed the turnpike at 140, it wasn't me with the tickets ;)

still on the va/nc border

• yep- i'm still in virginia (or north carolina, depending on if i'm trackside or off site). we were delayed a bit in tear down due to the rain and the fact that everything has to be inventoried since our next trek is in canada. so i was extended to friday and fly home friday evening from greensboro, back to cleveland.
• our first race was rad. it was on live feed through the speed channel and received great reviews from people in the industry.
• i'll be home for 5 days, then off to toronto. good news is that i will be grounded for 5 weeks through june before leaving for portland. i won't know what to do with all of my free time!

gutted.

keep out, off the beaten path, north carolina

off the beaten path in virginia...

sunset, trackside on the north carolina, virginia line

bite the bullets

• i'm almost entirely packed and ready to go. i say almost, because i overpack by nature and there are so many things i will be stuffing in at the last minute tomorrow morning. and it's the really important stuff, too, like my toothbrush, sleepy eye mask, glasses, and mini bottles of liquor. actually, i was just kidding on the last one.
• my parents are taking me to the airport tomorrow. funny, because i usually cab it and travel effortlessly back and forth from my building to hopkins. in fact, i'm fairly sure i pay at least one driver salary for my dear friends at westlake cab. they are fantastic and never run a minute late, not even on the red eye and 3 am pick ups. since i'm travelling on a sunday, however, my parents were thrilled to wish me off and treat me to breakfast. and i, of course, am happy to oblige. i mean, free baggage handling and an omelet? life is good.
• the word omelet is ridiculously funny, especially if you take a moment and ponder the spelling. omelet. rad.
• still not smoking- for those of you looking for a lung update- i remain on the bandwagon. been 2 months-ish and not a pack of cigarettes in sight. i'm still tremendously proud of myself on this and hope that those around me who have expressed their intent to quit can find the same success. everyone's journey is different, but no matter how you get there, the end result is absolutely amazing.
• i need some suggestions for my freq flier miles. i'm hoping to take a third and final personal trip sometime in december, celebrating the miles i have travelled this year. i'm just not sure where i want to go yet.
• aquafina lip gloss is fantastic.
• my girls night last night of catch up, 5:00, and wine was just what i needed. i get a bit down knowing some of the people i've known and loved the longest have the hardest time getting together more than once every few months. i'm probably the most guilty in this, as most conversations with my friends start with "are you in town this weekend?" or "when are you leaving?". but at some point i looked around last night, perhaps during our conversation about manifest destiny or woodrow wilson, or maybe even haven's declaration of homemade baby purees, but i was reminded exactly how much i love you both and what a huge impact you've had on my life. and as long as people don't leave us hanging on high fives or steal the mojo, we will always have each other. and that makes every glass of red and naked lady picture game a tad more fun.
• the best quote i've heard all week was "you know, out of all the instruments to play, the air keyboard is definitely the worst". while i agree, you must admit that styles pulled it off nicely.
• the meatball is the sweetest little peanut face ever. i will never tire of cuddling him over breakfast... even when he drools puddles on me and gives me the stink eye.
• it's 9:30 and i'm off to bed. on a saturday. god my life is exciting! i'm off to VIR in the morning. and no, it's not the cool way to say virginia. it's actually my destination. bon voyage!

outs.

so in a few days i'm off again. this time to virginia for our first race. i'm buckling down and working on some last minute changes and preps since returning from our selection in phoenix last week.

what's funny to me is that even though i've been working 11 and 12 hour days in the office and from home, it pales in comparison to the work i put in on the road. one entire week in phoenix equaled over 118 hours WORKING. not on site- WORKING. the flip side is that it just feels easier on the road. i'm not distracted by much, making it easy to breeze through hours and hours of event prep and execution.

so for those of you still sending me frantic messages about missing me during this stretch- i come back. time is relative. people return, barring they don't die in a plane crash or defect to mexico, though i must admit both sound like not-so-bad alternatives when you live my schedule. anyhoo- the point is i'm booked. i literally do not have 10 minutes of unscheduled free time before i head out on sunday morning. i will return the first week of may, be home for a week, and head out to ontario. but i will still remember my address... and for those of you i owe a bit of time to- may 20th, friends... i plan on winding down about 2 hairs. granted, i'll be creating and presenting my sponso deck for next year and gearing up for 3 tentative trips and 5 solid weeks on the road, but whatevs; at least i'll be in the same area code.

stories from the road... jessica goes karting

so after over 2 weeks in phoenix, i found myself with about 5 hours total of the entire trip to myself. the first few hours i had, i had a lovely massage at the hand and stone.

the second time? i went karting. not the gocarts you may have experimented with in your youth. we're talking professional racing karts. it all started when the guys on our crew were challenging my boss and i to a driving challenge. i guess when you work on a motorsport team, it all goes to driving at some point. i made the mistake of flipping the keys of my touareg to someone and jumping in the crew van while on track. they decided to totally eff with me and try to make me throw up my red wine and pasta from dinner. after hitting the driver and calling them all assholes, they decided to trash talk the driving capabilities of women, and there, my friends, a challenge was born. so we decided to take it to the track.

let me preface this story by saying that my prissy pants have never sat in a kart, let alone had any idea what i was in store for this particular afternoon. but being a good sport, and more importantly, knowing i would never live down the shame of quitting, i quickly agreed to the afternoon of racing. so after suiting up and watching the instructional video, giving myself a race name (grabontourballz), grabbing my balaclaver, i headed out for my helmet and kart assignment.

now, up until this point i have little regard to the fact that i have now gotten in over my head. i mean, maybe the outfit shoudl've clued me in. the release i had to sign. the video. etc. but no, i was still as optimistic as ever. so i get in my kart and buckle myself in to the many belts and straps provided. i don't even have time to giggle at the fact that my boss had to get a booster seat since she's fairly short and her pedal extenders kept flipping.

so we get the green flag and i'm third in the line up. i gun the gas and hope for the best, since i quickly realize the self-esteem blow that is inevitable if the other 6 behind me start passing me like i'm still at the starting line. only no one told me a little secret about the karts. it's called DRIFTING. needless to say, the first curve came up and i did a total 180 in my kart. i'm now rattled to the core and screaming at the top of my lungs as the 6 karts behind me are heading straight for me. i can only thank god and the track creator that i'm wearing a helmet in the first place to muffle my screams of terror. had anyone heard the things coming out of my mouth, i'm pretty sure it would be fodder for 6 months of teasing throughout our season. so after the initial peeing in my pants moment, i wanted to throw in the towel. the rest of the way around my first lap of the track i kept repeating to myself to call it quits. that i was in over my head and to just pull off into the pit. then i realized that i will be spending the next 7 months on the road with these people. and if i had thrown in the towel, i would've never and i mean NEVER, heard the end of it.

needless to say, by my 2nd and 3rd lap around, i got the hang of swinging the ass end of the kart around for the next curve. it was almost enjoyable near the end. and at one point, i think my screams of fear turned into maniacal giggles of delight. if delight was mixed with a candid fear of dying while wearing a helmet, that is.

the rest of the group? well my boss, while in a child's booster seat, lapped the competition about 39 times and came in first. she threw a perfect stranger into the wall and was completely unapologetic for it when confronted by him at the end. the guys? they liked to dump people into walls when they weren't bumping them from behind, then flipping them off as they passed (even on the YELLOW laps, i might add). and me? i didn't come in last. i mean, i came in 8th out of 9th, but i wasn't LAST. and a new tradition of karting on events was born. if only the NEO area had a track to practice! and for future reference, if your racing handle has the word balls in it, they will remove it from the main list and replace it with your full name. i think it was supposed to shame me in public for using inappropriate words, but really i thought it was even funnier that i was reprimanded on a live scoring monitor.

burn, baby, burn

complaining about a nasty sunburn in NEO in april will get you nowhere, my friends. absolutely nowhere.

it's between the burny and the itchy phase. ugh.

things i learned in the american southwest

as i'm preparing to head home in an hour or so on the red eye, i thought i'd share a few things i've learned over the course of my trip!

• spanish is more than a second language, it's a lifestyle.
• phx radio stations consist of hip hop, spanish, and christian. i'm sure you can all guess which channel i chose.
• i can't tell the difference on the street between a native american and a mexican (or mexican american, i suppose, depending on citizenship). spending the past few weeks in southern AZ and on an indian reservation, i can only tell the difference through jewelry and accessories. and i wish i was kidding.
• no one really understands the immigration issue unless they live on a border state, and i don't mean canada. watching the local news has been surreal.
• "jessica, there are a lot of cowboys here. and cowboys LOVE mustaches" is still the greatest quote i've heard through my entire trip.
• it takes 4 days to set up and 36 hours to tear all of the hard work down. my crew is amazing.
• whataburger is awful, no matter how convenient they are.
• native arizonians can tell the out of town visitor by the degree of sunburn and stupidity they demonstrate while in the hot desert sun. advice? wear a lot of sunscreen and don't touch anything metal outdoors.
• the best glass of merlot i've ever had is served at carrabas.
• i need greenery in my life. everything i own is now covered in this weird dirty sand dust that just won't go away. throw in the dryness, the scorched earth, and a burning sun and you have one unhappy fair skinned clevelander. my freckles have tripled and my wrinkles are showing. my eyebrows are bleached and every inch of arm that sticks out of a sleeve is red. i'm hoping my washer has a rad filter.
• don't leave your parents your spare keys while on the road. while the sentiment of them taking my car to the mechanic is a nice gesture, not nice is coming home and not having a car. wtf?!?!
• my flight has 7 business seats left- here's hoping to the upgrade!

update

• after 2 weeks of 12-37 hour days (not even kidding on that one) our event was a major success. after months of planning, schematics, logistics, meetings, purchasing, freight, etc. our project took off. i can't even go into words about the amazing people i met this past week.
• speaking of success and freight, we found that by ordering and shipping most of our stuff and our problem that one of the trucks in our fleet isn't ready, i may be traveling across country with my coworker in a 26 ft truck. yep- 1700 miles from phoenix to cleveland. i was told it'll take around 4 days. the good news? i get to cancel my shitty red eye for tomorrow at midnight and i get to see a part of the country i've never seen before. all of this is ridiculously funny, too, since as of yesterday we were so on and ahead of schedule, i looked into cashing some frequent flier miles to change my flight and upgrade so i could get out of the dust bowl early. it's amazing what can change in a day. just think- the next time you hear from me may be from the laptop via air card in the passenger seat of a penske.
• i actually had TWO HOURS to myself a few days ago. a few of us decided to head to the spa and enjoy massages. i upgraded mine to a full body massage, along with a hot stone treatment, and a full rejuvenating foot exfoliation and rub. the latter felt the best especially walking on arizona's unforgiving landscaping the past 15 days.
• arizona has given me the most rad farmer's tan, april freckles, and bleached out my hair and arm hair. it's ridiculous.
• i'm ready to come home and i don't care if it's via a 1700 mile trek cross country. i am not a fan of arizona and i'm excited to move on- get back on the road and hit our first race in virginia!
• a few days ago marked my first full month as a nonsmoker. hooray for me!
• and finally, whataburger sucks for breakfast, lunch, OR dinner.

the sunset a few days ago. i wasn't in a great location, but i couldn't pass it up!

quick update

• our event is going incredibly well. this was more of a selection process, kicking off our race season for the summer. the races are going to be amazing, as our "footprint" is fantastic. our hospo is unbeatable and tech is running smoothly. i'm going to be sad tomorrow as some of them get cut, but i look forward to meeting our final roster, as they complete a pretty full team.
• the documentary crew is amazing and fun to work with, though i'm pretty sure the boom has caught an eff word or two out of my mouth. sorry- i hung out with my ground crew of truckers for the first three days on the ground in arizona. i've heard more about hookers, liquor, bar fights, and australians, than i have ever wanted to know. an no, they don't really have kangaroos as pets that carry their books to school in their pouches!
• i've been in phoenix now for a week or so and have another week to go. i have to send an ev coordinator to buy me a cheapo suitcase that i can cart my team gear home in. i wasn't expecting to get quite so much stuff. the racing shoes just put me over the edge.
• i'm heading to bed. i have a 4 am wake up call for a 5:30 call at the track again tomorrow. good news is that saturday is a late day!

hello cactus